Today I am going to a concert. Walking up the steps to the hall a man hands out a paper calling me Sir, then stopping and changing it into Madam. I smile and pass the door to the hall. i am wondering if he might be confused now or thinking that he made a mistake calling me sir? English people are always trying to be polite and I think they learn that it is polite to say a title like Sir or Madam when talking to someone. Two groups of people, men and women. But what do you do if someone doesn´t fit?!
Another day in a cafe. Soon they will close and the service person lets people know that soon they will close. Doing this the person uses the expression Lady to let the “women” know that they will be closing in 10 minutes. One of the guests doesn´t like to be called Lady. She had been talking to herself or some invisible people for quite a while. Now I can hear pieces of word, like: This L A D Y word and feminism…..but cannot really understand what she is speaking about. It sounds as if she is giving a talk to an audience at the University, just that the audience is invisible for me.-
I am curious and walk up to her before leaving and ask her how she wants to be adressed as, if not as Lady. She replies that she does not speak with me. Doesn´t she speak with everybody, or might she think I am a man and she doesn´t speak with men? No idea. –
In the internet I am trying to find an explanation for her behaviour. I want to know if there is a certain meaning connected with the word, LADY that I do not know and that might be related to feminism. I remember when I was young and my aunt told me that soon I would be a young Lady that I really hated that. As to me being a lady meant to sit still, to put make up onto my face and to wear clothes that would make it impossible for me to move free and climb up a tree!
In did try to find an explanation for her behaviour. I want to know if there is a certain meaning connected with the word, LADY that I did not know about and that was related to feminism movement.
But instead of finding an explanation I come across a headline in which they say that one of the german politicians sees a sign of tolerance and open mindedness in Conchita Wurst winning the eurovision songcontest
I must say I cannot agree. If I – a real bearded woman – cannot find a job in Germany as a teacher in a school, in a kindergarden or as a sales person in a shop, and are told that I can only have the job if I did shave, then I do not see the open mindedness.
England is much further than germany regarding tolerance and open mindedness. I can find a woman with a beard working in a shop, a bearded woman working as a teachers assistant and I finally found a job in an office.
The eurovision song contest is a happening for the media and of the media. Freedom is different in the media than in daily life. You can behave strange or look strange or different in the media, but if it comes to daily life people react different.
Because an artist with an artifical figure did win the eurovision song contest, does not mean that people are now tolerant towards homosexuals or any kind of people that are not conform with the norm.
To really change something, I think it is necessary that people meet one another and make the experience that there is no need to be afraid of the ones that are “different” or live different.
In the heads of people are so many old ideas coming from the ancestors, some of them are that circus people are stealing children, that gypsies are always stealing and that homesexuality is like a sickness that you can catch if you come in contact with a homosexual person.
Movies could help to let go of these ideas, but even better is to meet one another and to make other experiences.
People of all kind could visit schools and give talks about their lives in order to open up the mind of the next generation and to make them see how colorful the world is. Something they already do now and then in schools, but could be done more.
The concert was good! It was a band from canada the Hutchinson Andrew Trio who came to the Internationalen Bath Music Festival.
Here is an example of their music:
This evening Iiro Rantala from Finland will be playing. Looking forward to listen to him!
And tomorrow Jan Gabarek and The Hilliard Ensemble are playing in Bath Abbey but unfortunately it is alrady sold out. Would have liked to listen to them too.
Its great listening to some good music!
A day with a lot of sunshine. I got up really early to sell some things on the car boot sale. Being there I met a teacher who told me that one day after the song contest and the winning of Conchita Wurst, they had a discussion in the classroom about this event. One of the pupils didn´t like that the woman was a man and gay. So they started speaking about the subject of homosexuality and if gay men could marry. What I really liked was that the teacher said how important it is to be tolerant for other ways of life and the individual way people live and look. – Interesting coincident, as just yesterday I mentioned this issue on the blog, to teach the children to be tolerant!
And my observation today was that I felt relaxed and fine on the market. It was great to be outside in the sunshine with happy people around. Now the life is back again after such a long time of rain. I did not realize too many people behaving funny because of me having a beard. Some days ago I got annoyed, being in a supermarket and a man in his middle age was holding his mobile phone at me – he was either filming or taking pictures. What can I do? Last time someone did it and I told this person that I do not like to be photographed or filmed without my permission, he just denied that he had done so, even it looked so obvious.
I don´t know how many people are getting filmed and photographed while shopping …but somehow I had the wish there would be a law that mobile phones need to stay in the pocket while shopping and that filming and photographing is not allowed.
Perhaps next time I will go up to the person if I notice it again. And if they deny I could call the security…..or I could go shopping only in a Burka covered with a veil, in order not to be seen :) or cover up my breast and go in as a man?! If all this woudn´t be too much effort I would do. –
On the other hand, I once wrote that the reactions show me where I fit. Big supermarkets, shopping centers, Mc Donalds and so on, is not for me and it is more likely that there are people that might react with the attempt to take a picture of me. Whereas I never had the feeling that I had been filmed by a client in an organic or health food store, and usually these shops are much smaller too.
I just need to stay out of huge stores like Tesco and similar places I guess. Most of my veggies I can order in a veggiebox, but they do not have everything I like and during the week some things might be missing and I end up in the huge supermarkets……..
Should it not be the right of everyone to walk peaceful in the public streets and in all the shopping centers without getting molested?
It was fullmoon. A very special fullmoon on a very special day.
London at night the moon was so yellow and huge shining over the Thames aside the buildings that were illuminated in blue light. I was not able to remember having seen such a wonderful moon outside of Hollywoodmovies! It had been a day full of surprises. The whole day I had been exited, like children are before getting their christmas presents. I had been invited to take part in a photoshooting in London. On my way to get therwe I was passing trees and plants in juicy green exploding and cheerful people walking by in the streets of London.
As I arrived in front of the studio, a woman approached me and asked if I also wanted to go to the PCOS photoshooting. –
PCOS? Not that I would know. I had not been told that this would be the reason! Remembering that I had mentioned in an interview that I had not been diagnosed with PCOS. I had been to a Gynakologist years ago, because someone who did an interview did not believe that I was a real woman. (Later I was even asked to have a genetic test for an interview to proove that I was a real woman! )
This gynacologist was as well an endocrinologist and had no explanation for my hairgrowth other then that this was genetic, as she had neither found PCOS nor Diabetes while examining me well. Both might cause hirsutism, but must not.
The woman and I did enter the studio and were welcomed in a very friendly way.
I was asked to sit down and a nice young lady took care of my hair and makeup. She decorated my eyes with long eyelashes. This felt awkward, as I usually do not use any make up. I had difficulties to keep my eyes open. After some time it got better. I had the impression that the heavy feeling on my eylashes went down all my body and made me feel heavy dizzy as if someone had given me a narcotising tablet. – A while later getting used to the feeling I did enjoy the way my eyes did look. I quite liked it – and imagined that it could be nice to wear it more often! Surprising myself with my thoughts.
My eyes went to the other makeup artist in the room and I did notice her wonderful long eyelashes. She told me that she had not to do them every day, but could let someone put them on and then she just needed to go again after a week or so. Cool. Things that I didn´t know.
When my make up was done, I looked around the corner to the waiting room and who was sitting on the sofa!?
It was Harnam Kaur! I was so happy to see her! Had the wish to meet her, but no idea how and now here she was! GREAT! We did hug and it felt very familiar, as if we knew each other already some time. Strange. But sometimes it is like this. Now I knew why I had been exited the whole day! This was my christmas present! :)
I was touched to see how feminine she was. Of all the bearded women that I have met so far, she is the most feminine to me.
Two other women that were here had also facial hair but did not show it and treated themselves to get rid of it. I think to remember that one of them said that she would not have the courage to have a beard.
I guess now that Conchita Wurst did win the song contest the media had again more interest in real bearded women.
Meeting Harnam, seeing more and more pictures of bearded women in the media gives me hope – after all these years it feels like a light on the horizon. More and more women show their facial hair, so that one day it can be part of our daily life to see bearded women in the street.
Perhaps we bearded women will have our first competition for the beard? Well, no. I think we would have a meeting not to see who has the longest or most beautiful beard of all, but to communicate, exchange and support one another and make way for other women to be able to accept and live with their facial hair..
We are more and we get stronger.
And it should not matter why a woman has facial hair. She still can love it and keep it. –
– People are so different. And as there are people with different color of skin, people have different expressions of facial or bodyhair, from none to a lot.
I really dislike it if people tell me that I must have a hormonal imbalance. Or other ideas that having facial hair as a woman must be a sickness. How then is it possible that women of certain “races” (difficult what to say for this) have a lot of facial hair!?
How about men having NO facial hair and no bodyhair? Are they sick as well? Would you call someone with another color of skin, then white, sick?
What kind of perception and thinking is it, to put people in a box of being “not normal” or “sick”? People like to sort things and people into boxes label them judge them in order not be afraid of them. And then out of the way in the box they do not have to think anymore about them and the fear is gone, for the moment. I think it is a quite human behaviour and most of us did learn to behave like this. But now it is time to change this and if not for us then for the following generations, in order to live in a tolerant, openminded and peaceful world.
We can teach our children that there is more, then what we told them before. We can teach them not to be afraid of someone who looks different or lives another way of life and that the world is very colorful in their expression.This will open their mind and they will not behave intolerant, as for them it will be part of a world in which they are living. And there is a chance to get rid of homophobia.
And did you ever wonder how humans would great aliens, if they would land on earth?
If human beings are not able to accept and love one another, how could they then love any aliens coming to this planet? (and I have no idea if there are aliens….might be, but no idea…I say it to make you think….and if you were an alien would you like to land on that planet were people act out of fear and might attac and kill you because you look different?)
The Canadian Radio CBC will be airing a feature about facial hair.
The pilot of the 10 part series will be airing thecoming Monday at 12:30pm eastern time. It is a special that you can only listen to live. This is possible by going on the stream on this website:
On the top right hand corner, there is a box titled “Now Playing on CBC Radio.”
Choose Toronto Ontario and then Radio one and the live feed.
There will be interviews with several people about facial hair and I was one of them. I have no idea if my interview will be already on the pilot.
I think it will be very interesting to listen to all the differnt aspects of facial hair like for example religious ones….
You need to convert the time to your time, it is 18:30 in Germany and 17:30 in the UK and Portugal.
Is the UK more tolerant than Germany? I would say my first impression says yes. And no idea if I will change my opinion.
Countries and people change. I want to speak about the difficulty to find work as a bearded woman. Concerning this, the British have shown much more openess and tolerance than I have seen in Germany!
Some years ago, I was filmed by a TV team that made a test with a hidden camera while I was trying to find a job in Germany. People said in front of the Camera that they have no job for me, but had a job some minutes ago when I phoned them to make the appointment.
A man who recruted people for jobs said that he had found people that would give me a job and that would like my CV, but they were scared to loose clients if I would not get rid of the beard! His opinion was that I cannot get a job as a bearded woman! And I think german people that saw this did not think that what he said was unusual or rude or intolerant.
Telling this to people in the UK I always saw a shocked expression in their face! English people want to be polite and open minded and tolerant. Applying for a job in the UK you need no photo in the CV. And so it did happen that an agency did send me to an office job and I got a temporary job in an office!! Unbelievable in Germany – but seemed easy in the UK.
I think tolerance and open mindedness can be learned and you can teach the children, when they are young. If grown ups behave intolerant and rude the kids will pick it up and reflect it too. So in a way it is the responsibility of the grown ups to behave in a way that teaches the young ones how to live in peace.
I have no idea what is going on in Germany. Germans love to say the truth, and the truth is that humans have a lot of negative thoughts and judgements as the day goes along. I guess Germans love to express what they think and do it sometimes without thinking that it might hurt.
Whereas an english person might have learned to hold the judgment and negative words inside and rather say nothing then to say rude or hurtful words to someone.
I appreciate it if people are honest and truthful. And I appreciate a kind way of being with one another. – A mix would be good. And for sure you cannot say THE germans or THE english, by putting the inhabitants of a country into a box……generalising….I know…and still my mind did generalise….lets say this is how I did perceive most of the people ….and it does not mean all….and I love to learn from the english to be more polite myself….and to see what I can learn from them.