Day 331 – July 1st

Dresden 1.Juli2009SchaubudensommerTomorrow in Dresden  Schaubudensommer will start. It is an event for 12 days with music and shows, clown and varieteé in small little huts and tents on the place around the Scheune in  Alaunstreet, in Dresden Neustadt, Germany.

During the past years I always heard people talk about it and now I have the chance to got there.

In the afternoon I went with some parents and kids together into the forest where there is a little river with sandbanks, where the kids could play.

During the day it was too hot and in the evening a heavy rain stopped the heat.

While we walked back from the forest the others in the group had the chance to see the reaction of all the people passing by. One woman had fun seeing all the reactions.

I sometimes do not notice the reactions of the people around me. I was even astonished that they said there were a lot of reactions.

Meanwhile it is that most of the time when I am walking I just walk. Not thinking of the other people watching me. And because I do not concentrate on the other people I get the impression that they are watching less.

What I focus on, is dominant in my world.

If I concentrate on the views and thoughts of the other people, then I will feel being observed all the time. And I am doing the same with the others because then I would try to check if they look and think about what they could be thinking.

If I just concentrate on me and what I do, and don´t watch the others, if they gaze or how they react, then I will not feel observed and above all important is that I will stay in contact with myself.

If I look and get angry, or let myself be influenced from what others could think or that they look, then I will limit my own freedom and make my own life hell. Because I am the one who is reacting on my own thoughts and judgements about the others and what they do. And I am the one who is projecting bad things on the others. Doing this would distract me from being in contact with myself.

Inside of me this makes a big difference. To tell the people not to look at me is hopeless. We all look. If something is new or different or strange we look even more. This is our nature. It is not bad or good. It is just being curious. And it is part of our nature to protect ourselves by checking the new and unknown….if there could be any danger from this…..animals would do this too, if a strange animal comes into their space.


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