Day 366 – Birthday of the beard! One year old

Frau mit Bart 04. August 2009Today the beard got one year old! Happy Birthday! Birthday cake and a candle?! Would be nice to make a party today!

My birthday, some time ago, was not important to me,….but this birthday, I feel is important to me. Well it is the first one and something special to have the beard now for one year!

Some did ask me: Now after one year, will you shave again and get rid of the beard? Wasn´t it meant to be an experiment for one year?

NO. After all that I realized in this one year, it would be paradox to shave or plug out the hair again.  – It would be back to normal life! To adapt, as usual. How else do you want to find a job!

I am still thinking about whether I should make it a bit shorter or not. ….Something inside of me doesn´t want to cut. And then I hear the thought: This looks quite wild. Shorter is more beautiful. Beautiful? What ideal of beauty? Interesting thinking about this: Would I trim the beard to please me? Or would I only do it to please the others?

The waggish side of me wants to have a wild beard. The wild woman wants to express and to come out! She wants to do funny crazy things. Wants to show and play with the way she looks! Living the wild side is  fun, and gives a feeling of being alive! Remember the 10 points of Patch Adams?

  1. Turn off your TV and become interesting. Perform yourself.
  2. Consider being silly in public. Sing out loud. Wear funny stuff. (these are just 2 out of 10 points that he prescribes)

To shave the beard, would just be to have my peace and to adapt and try to please the ideal of beauty, that the mass is adapting to. I would cut it out of fear to be rejected. And then I would be there, where I started when I was plucking out the hair on my chin.

I like myself with the beard. It feels consistent.

About this subject I had been thinking a lot during this one year. If I want to have my peace, I withdraw myself from the people. This I already did without the beard. It is not necessary to cut the beard to be in peace. The past two weeks, I did withdraw. First I did not understand why, and then I realized that I had worked too much and had gone over my limits. In these times I need to withdraw to refill the bateries with or without having a beard.  – This I wrote, because some people think the beard makes my live so hard, that I should cut it. But the beard is a friend that makes me understand so many things about life and myself.

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Day 352 Diary

22.07.2009dresden The damp weather made me tired. I was slow like in slowmotion and my brain did not work well either. The air was thick and I guess the ozon was hight too. Around 110, which is high but could be worse. In the evening a breeze of cold air came in my window….finally….During the day I did things in the house and later I rented two videos from the  “Videothek”.

XXY and “Friedliche Zeiten” a german movie about east and west germany. Its a long time I wanted to see XXY. The film was much better than the trailer made me think. So I made it cosy at home instead of going to the outdoor cinema a this weather is so changing that it might have been raining this evening.

Today I was thinking again about buying a van to live in. As soon as I have the money together I will do so. When I went to the supermarket today I saw this funny unusal van.

My beard is funny and unusual now after the fotoshooting. The hair is flatter and longer and  looks like I have lost some of the hair….after the hairstylist used this hot stick to curl the hair in my bear for one of the photos….

Dresden, Day 350

20.7.09 DresdenToday I found the time to walk throu Dresden on my own. Besuchte die Altmarkgalerie and looked around the sale that is on. The Frauenkirche I saw only from the outside, as it was too late and the church closed.

FrauenkircheA very impressing building!! The restaurants around the church were well visited on this mondayevening. I passed by and crossed the bridge to the other side of the river Elbe. On the banks of the river a huge screen had been build up for the open air cinema. It is said to be the largest in Europe!

Dampfer auf der Elbe

As I was in the mood to watch a film I decided to go to todays Filmnacht in Dresden and enjoyed it to sit outside under the sky.The service is good. Different foods are offered, pasta and sausage, frech fries and cake, as well as coctails, beer and soft drinks. The prices are low and moderate not. Usually when you visit a cinema in Germany the prices for food and drinks are exagerated and you won´t get sausage or french fries.

Dampfer DresdenThe movie tonight was: “Gran Torino” from and with Clint Eastwood. I would not have chosen to see it, if I had not already been here. It is an interesting film…not overwhelming to me…the pictures are not beautiful …..the content you can tell in a few sentences…..So to me I do not quite understand that it is said to be such a special movie. Some scenes were funny and people were laughing loud. Me I like movies that have beautiful landscapes, great pictures, costumes.

Kino Dresden FreilichtIn two days the movie Slumdog Millionaer, will be on and I might go and see it, as yesterday on the party someone recommended it to me.

Today I noticed how the people reacted and looked. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, still they were looking….more reactions in Dresden than in Berlin.

I feel normal. Don´t notice anymore that I have a beard. I often forget it.

I like it that I feel relaxed and can be myself, even when people watch me or tunr around.

This is the trailer of Gran Torino….if you like to see it…a bit hard and brutal in some parts….the bad thing about trailers is, that you already see the most important parts of the film….

Day 334 Postcard of the woman with beard

Frau mit Bart Postkarte 2009Yesterday the first postcards of the bearded woman arrived. I asked for 100 to be printed. On the front of the postcard is a picture of me on the pool in december 2008 in Portugal.

Postkarte Frau mit Bart RückseiteOn the back another wild picture in black and white from the same time in Portugal.

Day 333 Dresden Swimmingpool

Arnoldbad Dresden AussenrutscheHot day. (will go on tranlating later)

Today I was nanny and went with the kid to the public swimmingpool and the slides in Arnoldbad.

To go there was some kind of challenge, I thought, when we arrived there. Even though I do not have a problem with people starring at me, swimmingpools are somehow different to me. These are places with a fence. Places where you show your body. No protection. Others looking and judging comparing…..Even more it is obvious there if you are hairy and where the hair grows. And people just watching other people because they have nothing to do.

Dresden toiletteQuite many people were looking and irritated when I walked in the places to change clothes. Later outside a woman approached me and talked to me, as she had seen me on TV. “Aren´t you the lady, that has the courage to let her hair grow, where we others are still plucking it.”

Some teenagers where screaming loud when they saw me. One of them asked me, why I didn´t shave. I answered that not all men are shaving either and that I wanted to know what I would look like if I let it grow. He said that it looks digusting.

Tam Tam theaterAnother teenager asked the child that I was looking after, if I was his mother. When the child said no, they looked confused not knowing if I was a man or a woman. In the tram on the way back, another situation happened.

A woman wanted to pass me with her bike and said to the child next to me: Now your mum has to make space for me, so I can get out. And when the child said this is not my mumy. The woman said: “Well then your father or whatever”. She made a very stressed impression on me, having fear not to get out soon enough, as I was in the way with the handcart. In both situations no one seemed to see me as the nanny of the child. Well a nanny with a beard…?!

Tam tam theater Holland auf Schaubudensommer 2009In Arnoldbad there is a long slide in a tunnel with curves. I had been looking forward to slide on it. And when I was sliding I neerly got stuck, as it was not steep enough. Inside it was so dark and stuffy air, only small bulbs gave a shine like from little stars. I can imagine that some people would panic inside of it.

Another long straight slide is outside next to the pools. In the afternoon many loud and agressive teenagers where sliding down and screeming and shouting. When they finally had gone it was my time to go there. And I had so much fun to slide again and again, that I didn´t want to stop!

Schaubudensommer 2009The other adults must have wondered about a bearded lady sliding down the waterslide! I wonder if they don´t want to slide? If this wouldn´t be fun to them? Or if they think this is nothing a grown-up person does….

kleinstes Kino schaubude 2009In the evening hours I went together with the kids to Schaubudensommer. The smallest cinema with around eight or ten seats was there. On a tiny screen a cartoon was shown. And the kids loved it. Popcorn was given to us made by the tiny popcornmachine you can see on the picture with the word Kino above, which means cinema.

Schaubude Frost FamilieThen I went to the show of Cora Frost. A very special show with songs and piano accompanying. The Frost Family…..a bearded lady, played by Heinz the man, you see him on the picture on the right…and a dancer in a skirt…..and other odd things can be seen in this show…..

Then it was time to go, the children I was babysitting, had to be taken to bed…..

Day 330 Diary

Another hot day. Sweating. I was sorting and cleaning the childrens room of the child that I was babysitting. I like that! Some mothers won´t believe me when I say this. But it is true. I love toys as well as I love slides and playgrounds! I love to look at all these colorful plastic toys and to see all these different shapes and colors….and eversything is different again…enjoy just looking…

So today it was great sorting all these little toys into boxes, on which I wrote Cars, or Monsters, Dinosaurs..and so on. And in the end of the afternoon the room was so nice.

So most of the day I had forgotten that there is still a beard in my face. In the evening when I talked to a friend who works for the theatre she told me that she just had finished two fatsuits. And she and her colegue went out on the street with these fatsuits on them. Both now looking like two fat naked women. And the people in the street reacted similar like they do when a lady with a beard walks down the street. Some were imediately laughing. Others did not look, but after they had passed by and they thought noone will see them, they starred at them.

I would have liked to join them. Either wearing the fatsuit myself…or accompaning them as a woman with beard…….

Day 329, Diary

Dresden Spielplatz im HechtviertelIn the afternoon I was babysitting and went to a playground with animals, which is called Panama and is next to the Künstlerhof in Dresden. Dresden has quite a lot of nice playgrounds. On this picture it is a playground in Hechtsviertel in Dresden with nice colorful paintings on the walls around. We stayed on the playground of Panama until it closed around 7 pm. It is open every day from 9am to 9pm.

There is a place to climb on with an exit down throu the earth. Something that I would have been fascinated as a kid.

Today two people on the street talked to me, as they had recognized me from the film they had seen in TV about me. both were positive about what I do. That feels great to have people supporting me.

Gwendolin send me an email today. She made a drawing for a postcard about not shaving.

I want to share this with you. The words mean: From birth to death we keep our hair. Free growth of hair for all genders and parts of the body. Well in german it is a rhyme……

Gwendolins Postkarte